Thursday, April 26, 2012

You Can't Avoid Boyd - The Greek Tragedy Known as Metta World Peace


The Greek Tragedy Known as Metta World Peace
On Sunday, Metta World Peace (the man formerly known as Ron Artest and the man responsible for this rant http://handjobsforhamsammies.blogspot.com/2011/06/what-should-i-change-my-name-to.html) celebrated his dunk by treating James Harden’s head like a body bag, knocking him down with a vicious elbow. Artest was immediately kicked out of the game as Harden was diagnosed with a concussion. On Monday, he took to Twitter to issue Harden a half-assed apology, mentioning he never saw Harden when he swung his elbow maliciously. I guess that’s how he celebrates. Normally, I high-five my teammate when I score a basket. World Peace goes for a Mortal Kombat fatality. By Tuesday, he was suspended for seven games. Most of the basketball world was outraged Artest only got seven games. They shouldn’t be outraged. There is nothing in this world that should surprise you regarding Ron Artest. He is officially batshit crazy.
Let’s set the record straight. In terms of craziest motherfuckers in the sports world, Mike Tyson is the king. No one can take his crown. His antics are for a different blog post for a different day. Artest/World Peace would be the prince in this messed-up monarchy. Artest grew up in the Queensbridge projects in NYC. His neighborhood was so tough, he once saw a guy get impaled by a broken chair leg during a pickup basketball game. He went to school at St. John’s University, being an integral part of the 1999 team that reached the Elite Eight.
If there was one moment that may have put Artest on the path of crazy, it was the 1999 NBA draft. Artest declared for the draft as a sophomore and was projected to be a first round pick. He was available when the New York Knicks’ turn at 15 came up. Everyone assumed it was a match made in heaven, the local kid playing for his hometown team. However, the Knicks did not feel the same as everyone else, selecting French center Frederic Weis instead. Knicks fans hated the pick immediately, booing as soon as the pick was announced. The Chicago Bulls took Artest with the next pick. Artest had tears in his eyes when giving an interview at the draft. You can tell how devastated he was to be spurned by the Knicks. I remember flipping out that the Knicks picked Frenchy over Artest (Weis never played in the NBA and is known for being dunked over by Vince Carter in the 2000 Summer Olympics.) Maybe the snub is what made Artest bipolar. In a somewhat telling sign, a 2001 book about the Knicks revealed they weren’t high on Artest because they were not sure he can handle himself well, especially playing in his hometown.
Early in his career, Artest was productive, but always did quirky things. During his rookie year, Artest applied for a part-time job at Circuit City, so he can get the employee discount. He admitted to drinking Hennessy during halftime. He once showed up to practice in a robe. In the beginning of the 2004 season, he was suspended for two games when he asked for a month off to recover from the exhaustion of promoting his upcoming rap album. Throughout his early career, he received multiple fines and suspensions for various fouls or outbursts. He was kind of a loose cannon, but officially went off the deep end on November 19th, 2004.
The Malice in the Palace. If you are unfamiliar, here is the long story short: the Pacers-Pistons game got very chippy near the end of a Pacers blowout. Artest fouled Pistons Ben Wallace hard, so Wallace shoved Artest and started a little altercation. For reasons unbeknownst to anyone, Artest lays down on the scorer’s table. A fan from the crowd threw a cup of soda and hit Artest. Artest runs in the stands to beat down a fan (it should be pointed out he attacked the wrong fan) and start World War III. Multiple Pacers are involved in fighting some of the fans and people in the arena are legitimately scared for their lives. Artest was suspended the rest of the season (86 games overall). It was probably the most surreal moment I have ever witnessed on live television (I was in class during 9/11).
You would think this would change Artest. You would think wrong. Granted, Artest stopped attacking the fans, but his random craziness never stopped. His mouth remained unfiltered and he kept getting suspended for various reasons (flagrant fouls, domestic abuse charges, etc.) His three-year tenure with the Lakers can be summed up in five events:

1. Decided to wear 37 in LA to honor Michael Jackson’s 37 consecutive weeks with the #1 album, Thriller.
2. Sealed the 2010 NBA Finals by nailing a three pointer in the clinching game.
3. He auctioned off his championship ring for charity.

4. Changed his name.

5. The elbow to Harden

No one will dispute World Peace’s on-the-court talents. He has been a solid player throughout his career. However, being solid doesn’t lead off Sportscenter. Elbowing dudes and punching fans does. Is he some sort of PR genius? Probably not. I shouldn’t necessarily call him crazy since he’s made millions in the NBA. Eccentric would be the better word. If Metta World Peace decided to quit basketball and join the Girl Scouts, I wouldn’t be surprised. This man’s sanity knows no bounds. Since I will never get 100 feet from this man, I will continue to be amazed by this man from a distance. I will wait as he tries to usurp the throne from Mike Tyson and be crowned the new king. King Crazy Motherfucker. He might as well pull off another name change to add to his distinguished resume.
               -Written by Marcus Boyd

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