In case you haven't heard, Ron Artest, of the Los Angeles Lakers is petitioning to legally change his name. He wouldn't be the first professional athlete to do this. Chad "Johnson" Ochocinco changed his name to match his number in Spanish a few years ago. Why? Who knows, the guy isn't even Spanish. But it was funny and he ended paying over a million bucks to buy up all the old "Johnson" jerseys before they would start making "Ochocinco" ones. So where will Artest go with his name change? Given his past history of weird shit, there isn't much that will surprise me.
Wait, what? (thanks for everything Norm, sorry to hear about the cancellation) He's going to change his name to Metta World Peace?? Metta, for those wondering, is the philosophy and practice of universal love. It's okay, I had to read it a couple times to take it all in. That will make his first name Metta, his middle name World and his last name Peace. How do you feel about that?
Is there anyone out there thinking he might have taken a page out of World B. Free's book? At least he only changed his first name. He was born Lloyd Bernard Free, so it was a simple change. His father could still be proud that he carried on the family name.
I don't know how to feel about Ron's choice here. And yes I'll refer to him as Ron because I don't respect him enough to continually write his last name. Even though writing that last sentence and this one are much much longer than writing Artest. You get my point. I'm a little over this whole name change thing. I was over it as soon as Chad Johnson did it simply for publicity. I didn't think anyone else would try this stunt. What was I thinking?
I am just old fashioned? I feel it's a man's duty to carry on the family name. It's important to me as a man. Maybe it's because I have such an awesome last name, but still. How would you feel as a father if your son just up and changed his name to get publicity? These aren't bench players that nobody knows about either. They are already in the spotlight and making headlines every other week. So why throw away your family name just to make more heads turn? It's ridiculous.
Not only is he changing his name, but to Metta World Peace? Come on dude. That's one of the dumbest names I've ever heard. Where are his friends? Where is his agent? Where is his publicist? Out of all the name he could have picked, he goes with Metta World Peace. I don't mind the whole world peace thing, well yes I do, but I can kind of understand his motive. There has to be a better choice out there. Something a little more fitting. How about Ima Fuckin Moron? No? Okay, that doesn't have anything to do with world peace but it beats Metta.
Luckily I have a soapbox I can hop up on and get this off my chest. I'm just sick of celebrities and pro athletes doing retarded shit just to make headlines. Especially the athletes. Just go out there and play the game. You're already getting paid ridiculous amounts of money to play a game you love. Don't ruin it by being a jack-ass! I heard this news while making a Ham Sandwich and forgot the mustard, so hopefully I can still get a decent Hand-job. Those bums behind the Stop-N-Shop are pretty picky when it comes to HJfHS.
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