Options Tonight? . . . Dwarf Tossing!

            Wow, I hope this catches on soon. "What are you talking about Pat?" you ask? Well, let me ask you something first. How would you like to go to a bar, have a few drinks, then pay a couple bucks to see how far you can throw a midget? Yes, toss a midget, as in pick him up and throw him. Or her I guess, I just assume it would be a male willing to strap on a helmet and let drunks throw him across the room. Doesn't that sound like fun? Who would try to stifle such a great idea?

            Midgets. Or dwarfs I suppose since the name of this sport is called dwarf tossing. Anyway, there is a little couple that stars on a TLC reality show called, you guessed it, "the little couple." They appeared on Anderson Cooper's show talking about how unsafe it is and how demeaning it is to little people. Blah blah blah. Listen, the little person that AGREES to do this knows what he's getting himself into. He puts on a helmet and some padding. And how far do you think these drunks are really tossing him? Couple feet maybe. Not far enough to get hurt. Where does this couple get off saying how wrong it is? That's bullshit!

           You know what's wrong? How hypocritical these little bastards are. Here are a couple midgets who found a way to make some extra cash by exploiting the fact that they are small enough to get picked up and thrown. And they cry about how wrong it is. Well how the fuck did they end up with a reality show? Because they are interesting entrepreneurs? Because they have great personalities? NO, it's because they are fucking midgets. I saw their interview, they're boring little pricks. They are a couple, they are midgets, and they pitched this bullshit reality show to make money. So where do they get off crying foul about some of their own kind trying to exploit themselves for money. It's exactly what they're doing. I'm sick of these people that think they are better than everyone else. They are all low and mighty in their miniature ivory tower. Fuck that. You're just like every other person that uses their abnormalities to make money. Just because you get to sit on TV doesn't make you any better. Get over yourself. It shouldn't be too hard, you're a fucking midget.

           Anyway, the State Representative in Florida is trying to repeal the law that made this illegal. Stating it's a way to boost the economy. Every little bit counts. (pun intended) I applaud this man for standing up for what he believes in and not being afraid to make the unpopular decision. Hey, if a little guy wants to make some money at a bar by getting thrown around, who are we to stop him? Shit, we should be lining up to hurl this guy for distance. So listen here midgets. Don't think you are better than anyone else because you pick a more dignified way to make money on your shortcomings. BOOM roasted!

           If you didn't see this coming, you don't read my blog enough. I'm on my way to the city to get a little Hand-job for half a Ham Sandwich from midget that knows her place.