All of my dreams have finally come true. The hard work, the preparation, the long hours and sleepless nights. I can now have what I've always wanted. Dinner and a movie and maybe even a plane ride, WITHOUT kids! What? Yes, a kid free movie followed by a relaxing dinner void of screaming brats and the parents that can't control them. Finally.
Okay, so maybe I didn't have anything to do with it but sit there and try to tell me it's not awesome. There are actually places out there that have banned kids from their establishments. This makes enjoying your night so much easier. You know what I'm talking about.
You have a romantic night planned with the lady friend. It starts with a nice dinner, maybe a Groupon meal for two. The hostess seats you in a booth and reads over the specials before asking what you'd like to drink. You order a beer in the biggest glass they offer and the lady gets a martini to set the mood. The two of you decide to split the spinach dip for an appetizer as you gaze over the steak selection. The porterhouse seems like the best choice for tonight. I wonder what the lady will get? The top sirloin, cooked medium, good choice. I knew there was a reason we were out together. Then it happens.
WAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAA! "Calm down hunny, you can't get the ice cream yet." "But mommy, I'm a brat that can't behave myself in public! I want everything NOW!!"
Are you kidding me? Did they really have to bring their kids to the restaurant? We were having such a great evening until that little bastard started crying. Now we have to listen to this kid's mouth while his parents, who apparently read a "this is NOT how to parent" book, struggle to gain control. What a great way to enjoy my porterhouse. If only a restaurant would open up where you wouldn't have to worry about that. Oh thank heaven for . . . well it's not called 7-11 but you get the point.
I don't have anything against kids in general. I just don't appreciate when I'm trying to enjoy my night and their screaming heads ruin it. There are some movie theaters that have caught on to the trend and offer kid-free movies. Won't it be great not to have to worry about missing a good part because some couple thought it was a good idea to bring their kids, who obviously can't behave, to a dark room where silence is golden? I hope the movement really picks up. Kid-free zones everywhere would make me a happy consumer.
Up until now the only place I knew there wouldn't be kids to ruin my night was by the dumpsters behind the Git & Go where I get Hand-jobs for Ham Sandwiches every other week. Here's to hoping my options open up.
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