Marcus
Boyd’s Excellent Adventure-Notre Dame edition
For
this week’s installment, I assembled a crew and we went to the Notre
Dame-Maryland game at FedEx Field on Saturday night. I had every reason to be
nervous about this trip. I have been to a few ND games before and let’s just
say we know how to have fun:
·
Notre Dame @ Navy 2006 at M&T Bank Stadium 12 pm game (Baltimore, MD)-
Every year, Notre Dame plays Navy. When Navy hosts the game, they usually hold
it at a larger venue since Annapolis can only hold approximately 383 people.
Stains and I grab tickets at the day before; start drinking at Slider’s Bar at 8:30
am and see Notre Dame get their 43rd consecutive victory over Navy.
We celebrate by losing each other in the streets of Baltimore for about an hour
(this was our first time in the Baltimore area) before reuniting. Stains drives
us home pants-less before we get home and both vomit.
·
Notre Dame @ Navy 2008 at M&T Bank Stadium 12 pm game (Baltimore, MD)-They
decide to play this game again in Baltimore. Navy won the year before, so they
are all jacked up. I counter with a group of about 20 people, made up of
various college friends and Virginia friends. We once again make Slider’s Bar
our pre-game spot, but more aggressively. Long story short, two friends took
separate cab rides home from Baltimore to northern VA (Approximately a $150
fare.) Disco Dan never made it to the stadium, while Stains never made it to his
seat. My night ended seeing AC/DC in concert in DC, projectile vomiting in a
shady restaurant in Chinatown, and being told Notre Dame barely survived their
huge lead to win the game.
·
Notre Dame @ Pittsburgh 2009 at Heinz Field 8 pm game (Pittsburgh, PA)-
Because Pitt plays their home games at Heinz Field, they can’t serve alcohol.
Only neutral site games can serve alcohol. Luckily with an 8 pm game, our group
drinks all the alcohol needed to last a game. All I remember is a pretty
awesome tailgate, and Notre Dame losing to Pitt. As I took my anger out on a
soon-to-be-fired Charlie Weis to a random group of fans in a limo, our entire
group of guys decided to lick the vest of the girl Hennessy was talking to.
Within a week, everyone who licked the vest or hooked up with someone who
licked the vest was severely sick.
·
Notre Dame @ Navy 2010 at New Meadowlands Stadium (East Rutherford, NJ)-
Navy finally decided we destroyed Baltimore enough to move it further up north.
This doesn’t stop us as we travel up for the game. Any excitement I had for
stepping foot into the New York Giants new state-of-the-art stadium is ruined
as Navy destroys Notre Dame. It results in me leaving the game midway through
the 3rd quarter (a first for me) and shotgunning beers by myself.
Stains and I decide to drink in NYC through the night/next morning.
In
2009, Notre Dame altered their schedule so they would play seven home games,
four road games, and host one neutral site game. This year, they decided the
neutral site would be FedEx Field. This should provide a fair opportunity for
each school as Notre Dame can host a game away from South Bend and cater to
their fans from the Mid-Atlantic region, while Maryland can play at a bigger
venue close to their campus.
Knowing
we had a good-sized group for this game, I decided we needed a bus to handle
the madness. Since I have friends in low places, I had access to the Virginia
Tech Tank Bus. If you have been to a VT game in the past or driven around Falls
Church, you have seen this monstrosity (http://vttankbus.blogspot.com/). A few friends bought on
old German bus, gutted it, furnished it with couches, and painted it in VT
colors. For a small fee, they would drive us to the tailgate. Unfortunately and
predictably, I got a call at noon saying the bus wasn’t working. After calling
several people in the tailgate, many negative emotions played out, from sadness
to anger. As the last rites were being performed for the bus, Professor Craiggers
decided it wasn’t the bus’ time and resurrected it from the dead. It was a
glorious comeback indeed. Despite being 30 minutes behind schedule, it was
better than taking the Metro like a bunch of jerks.
Once
on the bus, the beer flowed like wine. Some people were already drunk before
getting on the bus. We did have an ace in the hole when it came to the
tailgate: our friends’ parents. Otherwise, it would have been 12 drunk guys
just drinking and having a shitty tailgate. However, the parents realized their
maternal instincts and made sure we set up the tailgate quickly and
effectively. In minutes, we had a pretty sweet tailgate setup. It would have
been the best one there if a bunch of Notre Dame graduates didn’t hire a Hot
99.5 deejay for their tailgate right next to ours, which was pretty shocking.
Experiencing alums of Notre Dame over the last few years, I realize they are
all boring as shit. As much as I wanted to go to school there, I’d be afraid of
how socially retarded I’d be if I spent four years in South Bend. It would be
weird for Marcus Boyd, known hater of nerds, to be in a school full of nerds.
As
for the game itself, I was surprised by two things. One, the lack of Maryland
fans. While I was expecting more ND fans, it was shocking how little the
Terrapin crowd was. You would have thought College Park was 1,000 miles away
from FedEx, not ten miles. It was quite the Irish crowd, despite one fan
wearing all Michigan gear and being a douche. Second, FedEx Field seemed not to
care about this game. They barely checked tickets to get into the stadium, and
didn’t care where you sat. Instead of sitting in the nosebleeds, Disco Dan and
I sat 15 rows off the field, next to the Notre Dame band. It was enjoyable to
hear one of the more famous college bands, but it was also disgusting, thinking
about all the weird places those nerds have put their trumpets. I even got to
sit in the front row near the end of the game, congratulating Harrison Smith
for singlehandedly causing my disastrous 2010 Sun Bowl blackout.
When
it was all said and done, I saw Notre Dame crush Maryland, while running their
record to 3-2 when I watch them. Everyone had a good time, and everyone
(including the bus) made it home safely. I was pretty drunk, but it was very
tame compared to the last few Irish games I’ve attended. I hope the wildness
returns for next year’s road trip: Ireland for the Notre Dame-Navy game.
-Written by Marcus Boyd
Next
week: Oyster Riot XI
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