You Can't Avoid Boyd - Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, and Boring Ass Baseball

Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, and Boring Ass Baseball

On Tuesday, Major League Baseball will be hosting its 83^rd All-Star Game in Kansas City. This Midsummer Classic is a welcomed break from the regular season as it allows players and fantasy owners a few days to relax from the 162-game season. Fans love all the hoopla, including the ever popular Home Run Derby held Monday. It allows general managers to review their teams and evaluate them going into the unofficial second half of the season. It even allows ESPN to host something called “The ESPYS” the day after the game. The game is also a huge crock of shit.

My biggest pet peeve of the MLB All-Star game is the winning team determines home field advantage for the World Series. An exhibition game in July featuring many players who won’t be playing in October will play an integral part for the championship. This made no sense in 2003 when this rule was created and it doesn’t make sense now. The rule came as a result of the 2002 All-Star Game, which resulted in a tie. Both managers ran out of players after 11 innings and asked Commissioner Bud Selig, who was in attendance, how to proceed. Selig agreed with both managers that playing further would be an enormous injury risk and declared the game a tie. All the fans at Miller Park in Milwaukee booed the decision and ruined Bud Selig’s homecoming. Selig was the former owner of the Milwaukee Brewers and this was supposed to a defining highlight of his tenure, bringing this game back to his city. Instead, the media ripped him a new one and he looked like a douche. Rather than accept the 2002 game as an aberration and leave it as is, Selig tweaked some rules about expanded rosters, re-entry into the game, and the home field rule.

The funny thing about all the rule changes is it does nothing to ensure there won’t be another tie in the All-Star Game. It has some measures in place to go beyond 11 innings, but not too much longer. Selig basically took this 1987 Toyota Tercel of a game and gave it a new paint job. It might look nicer, but it is still the same shitty car. If Selig wanted to implement the “This One Counts” message with more validity, he’d address my second beef with the All-Star Game.

Since 1970, the starters for both teams have been chosen by the fans. This was baseball’s way of thanking their fans for their loyalty and their ability to put up with $5 hot dogs and $9 beers. Unfortunately, the fans are fucking idiots. The fans vote for players like they would their 6^th grade president; they vote for their friend. This year is a prime example. The San Francisco Giants encouraged their fans to vote for only Giants in the final week of voting and those homos listened. They got three players into the starting lineup (Buster Posey, Pablo Sandoval, and Melky Cabrera) that had no busy starting. At least Posey and Cabrera had the numbers to make the All-Star team. Sandoval shouldn’t be invited to any all-star event this year unless it featured competitive eating. If you don’t believe Giants fans stuffed the ballots, Freddy Sanchez finished fourth among second basemen. Sanchez has played in as many games as you have this year. The fans were able to vote for the starters prior to 1970, but the commissioner at the time stripped the fans that right after they abused it and stuffed the ballots with undeserving players. Maybe it is time for Selig to sack up and do the same.

The rest of the team is selected by players’ vote and the choice of the All-Star Game’s manager (always the previous World Series’ managers). The manager’s role is critical as he needs to adhere to another rule: each team needs a representative. This creates some notable omissions each year as deserving players are left off the roster because a San Diego Padre needs to make the team. Discussing the snubs is part of the yearly tradition with this game. This year had an interesting wrinkle. Dusty Baker of the Cincinnati Reds indicated that National League manager, the alcoholic Tony La Russa, snubbed some Reds players due to a grudge from a 2010 brawl. During the brawl, Reds pitcher Johnny Cueto went all Cobra Kai on La Russa’s Cardinals and kicked catcher Jason LaRue in the head, giving him a career-ending concussion. Cueto was among the snubs. La Russa offered a half-assed explanation on why Cueto didn’t make the team, but most agreed the snub wasn’t as bad as Baker made it out to be.

Bud Selig is trying to have his cake and eat it too. On one end, the team is comprised of players as voted by biased fans and coaches. The players are not exactly giving 100% effort in this glorified exhibition game (it’s still better than that game of grab ass they call the NFL Pro Bowl). Yet, the game does matter for the few teams fighting for a ring. The way I see it, you can have it one way or the other, not both. This isn’t Burger King. Either keep the rules as is and have the result mean nothing except pride. Or, make the game for home field advantage but let the manager pick his team. Get rid of fan voting and the rule where each team needs a rep. Let the manager field the most competitive team to try and win it for his league. We should not be subjected to the Jose Altuves of the world. Addressing this would eliminate most of the flaws associated with this game. Unfortunately, we’d still have to listen to Tim McCarver call it.

                -Written by Marcus Boyd