Monday, June 11, 2012

Strong Willed - Can You Tell Me How To Get To Sesame Street?

CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?

            Seriously I want to know how to get to Sesame Street. They ask that question over and over in their theme song but nobody really knows how to get there. I got a bone to pick with some of the people over there. I heard that they changed the name of the cookie monster to Veggie monster. Damn politically correct asswipes changing the name of the cookie monster. I researched it and I found out that while it was considered it was in fact not done. But even the thought of that pissed me off enough to want to fry big bird. 
           Some people at Sesame Street decided that the cookie monster is a bad influence on children. Why?  They say that a monster shoving cookies in his face teaches our youth to eat junk food. So they were going to change the name to Veggie monster to promote healthy eating but people were not happy about that so they found a happy medium and kept the name and added veggies to his diet. Good move. But why even consider changing the name of an American icon like the cookie monster. That’s as un-American as not liking Chinese food. The cookie monster does not teach kids to eat junk food. Parents teach their children. Parents are the ones stuffing their faces with garbage or being too lazy to cook healthy and teach healthy habits. I’m guilty of it myself.
         The basic point I am trying to make is that I am sick of all the PC bullshit and people trying to tell other people how to raise their kids. I think it is time to let people do things themselves. Stop blaming childhood obesity and other health problems on TV shows. The fact that kids sit in front of the TV at all is the start of the problem. When I was a kid I used to run full court games of basketball every day. Ask Henny, he was there. I fished, I played football, I rode bikes, and went sled riding. I think you get my point. Now I’m older and I work for a living. I play video games and don’t have the time to eat healthy so guess what, I’m overweight. That’s my fault. I can change that. The cookie monster cant.
        Changing the cookie monster’s name because they think it promotes unhealthy eating habits is ridiculous. They would also have to change his color as well and Elmo’s color to make sure they are not teaching kids to join the bloods or the crips.  They would have to cook big bird and make sure to grill his ass and not fry him because fried chicken is unhealthy. And there would be no more snuffaluffagus (I know damn well I spelled that wrong) because he is big birds imaginary friend and some of the politically correct people may see that as the result of drug use. Burt and Ernie would have to be known as a domestic partnership so that we don’t offend the gay community. Oscar the grouch would have to become a friendly Walmart greeter because god forbid you let your kids see something with a bad attitude. I would be pissed if I spent my time in a nasty ass garbage can too. 
          All I am trying to say is that the government and all the politically correct shmucks need to back off. Leave Sesame Street alone. It’s better for kids to watch that than half of the other shit they put on primetime. If you want to teach your kids how to get fat just have them watch Jessica Simpson for a while. She perfected getting fat. Change the name of the cookie monster and I will have to take a trip to Sesame Street and kick some teeth in. I will see if Henny wants to come and get a handjob for a ham sandwich from the bum in the trash can known as Oscar the grouch. I think Oscar will tell him to fuck off. Or maybe he will up the ante and tell him to throw in some grilled big bird and get Burt and Ernie to do it for him while the Veggie monster is flaggin blue doing a drive-by on Elmo’s house. God I hope he has good aim. I hate Elmo.
            -Written by Will

1 comment:

  1. I agree Will!! Kicking some of these PC assholes in the teeth sounds fun!!! Where are these people with some of the commercials on tv??? These quit smoking now commercials, that my 5 year old sees while watching tv, and then imitates their voice. Now, of course it's my job as a parent to explain to her that she can't do that. And explain that the person is sick. But she is only 5 why should she have to deal with harsh realities of life like that at such a young age. I say FUCK YOU to the smoking commercials. If and When I want to quit smoking I will! I don't need you to tell me what COULD happen to me if I smoke, but what about other things that COULD be potentially harmful to me you going to show me about that stuff too? Oh no wait that is wait that is what 1,000 Ways to Die is for. Back to my point, why don't they leave Sesame Street alone and attack those dumb fucks?? That is all.

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