Without going into too much detail, I've had the opportunity to observe a large number of police officers around my community the last few days. During my observation, I put them all into three categories.
Category I: Standard, In Shape - These officers were what you'd think a police officer should look like. They were in good shape and well groomed. Their uniform was squared away. Neatly tucked in, pouches and badges in the right places. Overall they were good looking individuals. You would assume they could run down an assailant and bring them to justice. They were the kind of authority figure you would respect and have no problem listening to. Both men and women had representatives in this category. Now, let's take a look at the numbers. To make it easy, I'll say I rated 100 officers. Six of them would fit into this category. For the mathematically impaired, that's 6% of the officers I observed. Not a very good percentage if you ask me. Even if you don't ask me, it's still awfully shitty.
Category II: Average, Not Terribly Fat - These officers were not in great shape but, like the title suggests, not terribly fat. They had a little extra baggage above the belt. These officers looked like they didn't work out regularly, if at all. Walking from one place to another was about the extent of their exercise. Their uniforms were still in order, just tucked in tightly over the belly. You would assume they could run down a larger criminal or at least keep them in sight until back-up arrived. They would get a little respect. Maybe they put in long hours at the desk and didn't have time to work out. Or some other bullshit excuse. Numbers wise, let's take a look. Again out of 100 police officers, 40 of them fit into Category II. If you still haven't figured out percentages, that's 40%. That's a lot of fairly large cops out there.
Category III: Ridiculous, Crazy Fat - This is where it gets out of hand. These officers were well over weight. The only thing I could assume with confidence is that they had a sugary snack on their person. If they had 8 cargo pockets, 6 of them were filled with Little Debbie's. Their uniforms were struggling to keep it together. Their hair was all out of place. They looked more and more out of breath with every step. It was embarrasing to watch. If someone in a wheel chair robbed a bank, got knocked out of their chair, had their hands broken and had to crawl away; they would still be able to out-run these monsters. The only exercise they get is trying to swing their arms around to wipe their ass. Since they probably shit 5 or 6 times a day, they figure it's good enough. It's not! I don't respect anything they have to say. Someone that large doesn't deserve any respect from me, or you for that matter. The fact that they are in a position of authority makes me sick to my stomach. If you skipped ahead and figured out the percentage of law enforcement officials that fit into this category, you were right. It's 54%. That means a majority of the police officers in the Falls Church area of Virginia are extrememly overweight. Disgustingly overweight even. What's the solution?
How about a standard of some sort? If you are "this" tall, you should weigh "this" much. Seems pretty easy to me. If you don't meet the requirements, you get put on a program. A diet and exercise plan set up by a professional. You need to abide by it or face disciplinary action. Police officers are supposed to be people you can look up to. Someone you can go to for advice. Someone you can go to for help. I wouldn't go to the fatties in Category III unless I needed help eating EVERYTHING in sight.
I know I said it before but it really makes me sick that these people walk around trying to enforce the law. Why should I listen to anything they have to say? They can't even see their own dick and they are supposed to tell me how to live my life. I don't think so. Get your shit together so you have some sort of respectable appearance to the public. I'm not saying everyone needs to have a six-pack or bench-press 300 lbs. But at least be in good enough shape to walk up the steps without sweating. It's a disgrace. I could take a bum to the police station and get a Hand-job for a Ham Sandwich right on the front steps. What are they going to do? Odds are one of the big bastards from category III will try to stop me and I'll have time to finish and make another sandwich for myself to enjoy. If you've ever received a hand-job from a bum before, you know what kind of time I'm talking about here. If you haven't, it's about 20 minutes. I also want to point out that not every police officer is a fat mess. Just a majority. There are plenty of officers out there that have themselves together and deserve the badge and gun they carry. Unfortunately, most of them are out of shape and quite frankly, disgusting. If it seems like I rambled on a bit here it's because I did. I don't apologize for anything.
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