Wednesday's Words of Wisdom

          Well it's Wednesday and that can only mean another installment of Wednesday's Words of Wisdom. I know you're excited to learn what you can be doing better as a contributing member of society. Well today it's not going to be a long one, but this one is basic and important. Some of you might have some kind of objection for religious reasons, or some other kind of bullshit, but relax and just hear me out.
          When someone around you sneezes, say "God bless you" or "bless you" or even the playful "Gesundheit" for crying out loud. It's not about believing in the superstition that your heart stops, or your soul is thrust from your body, or any other possible explanation for why we say it. It's about acknowledging that it happened. It's about being a courteous human being and saying, "hey, I noticed you just sneezed. God bless you." It's the same as when you pass someone in a hallway, or an aisle somewhere, and give a nice friendly greeting. What does that pompous asshole do? Just keeps walking like you don't exist and didn't say hello. What the hell is wrong with people today?
          If I hear someone sneeze, even from a room away, I will say bless you loud enough for them to hear. It's comforting for them to know that someone recognized they exist and just sneezed. If someone in your office or workplace yelled out "Hey does anyone realize I'm alive?" Wouldn't you at least acknowledge them? Even if you just yelled back, "Hey douche bag, get a life!" At least they would know someone heard them. A sneeze is the same thing.
          I sneeze at work sometimes and nobody says a word. So I sit there and think; there is no way they didn't hear that, why didn't anyone say God bless you? Who the fuck do they think they are to just sit there and ignore me like the bum at 7-11 giving Hand-jobs for Ham Sandwiches? I bet he at least gets a follow up, "what kind of spread you got on that bread?" Maybe you think I'm the crazy one that just needs to be validated or something. Well all I know is, I feel a lot better when someone says bless you after I sneeze. And like the kid in class that isn't afraid to ask the question everyone else is thinking, I'm putting it out there. If everyone would acknowledge a sneeze with some kind of response, the world would be a happier place. You know it, and I know it.