You Can't Avoid Boyd - Limeys Heart Mark Zuckerberg

Limeys Heart Mark Zuckerberg

Last week, the Science Museum of England released the results of a month long poll they had been conducting. In conjunction with their newest display “Water Wars: Fighting the Food Crisis in the World Today”, 3,000 British adults were asked what they couldn’t live without (it appears basic food, shelter, basic clothing, and electricity were assumed for this poll.) Here is the top ten with other notable results:

1. Sunshine
2. Internet connection
3. Clean drinking water
4. Fridge
5. Facebook
6. National Health Service (or what Americans call insurance)
7. Cooker
8. Email
9. Flushing toilet
10. Mobile phone/smartphone

11. Tea/Coffee

15. Painkillers

22. Google

23. Car

24. Hair straighteners

27. Chocolate

35. Ebay

41. Spell Check

43. Pushup Bra

50. Twitter

You can view the full list here (http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/about_us/press_and_media/press_releases/2011/09/Feeling%20Flush.aspx) but some observations I noticed. First off, sunshine at #1?!? Really??? Have you ever met a British person with a tan? Is it even possible? Those wankers are paler than Caylee Anthony. Second, those polled would rather have Facebook than insurance, a working toilet, or any form of transportation. I realize it must be important to know the birthday of someone you haven’t talked to since you two were in kindergarten years ago, but that seems ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Facebook. I go on regularly and am a fan of “The Social Network”. However, I’d rather have a car or use a light bulb (#40 on the list.) Most Brits would rather poke a Facebook friend and make a twosie in a hole than use a toilet, ignorant of their friends’ status. British people love technology as it dominated 20% of the top 50. I tried to check with my British friends to see if this was true for all people across the pond, but Dennis’ mom was too wasted to get back to me and Adam Welch won’t respond to my emails. Also, I’m not surprised caffeine was that high as there appears to be a Starbucks on every block. Painkillers at #15 surprised me unless some of my friends took this poll. Then, I’m surprised it wasn’t higher (literally).

If I were asked this question, here would be my ten answers in no particular order:

Flat screen TV- I would need it for…

Direct TV- Where else can you watch Steven Seagal movies on a random afternoon?

Clean Water- If you lived with me, you know I drink about a jug of water a night. In fact, the jug has been nicknamed “Agent Jug Bauer” by others. It was a better roommate than Niedermeyer.

Working Toilet- I don’t want to poop into a hole in the ground.

Car- Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

Internet- Home of the information superhighway (a.k.a. porn).

Alcohol- Ben Franklin said beer is proof God loves us and wants to make us happy. Amen to that.

Barbecue Grill- I grill every day all year round, not just the summer. Nothing says good times like grilling in a snowstorm.

Ketchup- I put ketchup on anything socially acceptable, even a few things that would disgust some of you.

Major League Baseball- I need one sport in my life and baseball runs the longest. The NFL just missed the cut.

             
               -Written by Marcus Boyd