You Can't Avoid Boyd - The New York Rangers are Trying to Kill Me

The New York Rangers are Trying to Kill Me

On Wednesday night, I had the opportunity to go to Game 6 of the Rangers-Capitals series. The Rangers had a chance to clinch the series with a win and knock over the Caps bandwagon all at the same time. Instead, the Rangers decided to pull their collective pants down and deuce on the ice for 60 minutes. They gave up a goal 90 seconds into the game and showed no enthusiasm throughout the night. I’m glad I spent $100 to watch this turd in the punch bowl performance. The only fight I saw among the blue shirts is when three Ranger fans were asked to leave late in the first period and they responded by throwing drunken haymakers at the security guards.

I knew the Capitals would not go gently into that good night. They have played 13 games this postseason and 12 of them have been decided by a goal (the Rangers have played 10 one goal games in the same span.) They have bought into Coach Dale Hunter’s system and have been relying on the ridiculous hotness of third-string goalie Braden Holtby. They also have Alex Ovechkin , the Caps superstar who tows the line between elite goal scorer and dirty player. They also have Jason Chimera, who absolutely kills the Rangers. He only has seven career playoff goals, but five of them have come against New York. Now, both of these teams’ seasons are on the line Saturday night at Madison Square Garden. Both have Game 7 wins under their belts this year.

They say there is nothing better in sports than a Game 7. Two teams fighting to advance, even throughout the first six games. Well, nothing is better if your team wins. Complete euphoria. If they lose, it feels like getting kicked in the nuts by Sebastian Janikowski while simultaneously getting dumped by your wife/girlfriend/favorite prostitute. I have experienced both throughout my life. The excitement of the highs and absolute depression of the lows. I have even witnessed a Game 7 between these two teams in the past and it was one of the more crushing losses of my lifetime.

In 2009, these two teams met in the first round. The Rangers won the first two games in DC and three of the first four overall. However, the Caps came roaring back to force a Game 7. There was no way I was missing this game in person. I figured I would be their good luck charm as I was in attendance for Games 1 and 2. I was dead fucking wrong. With about six minutes remaining in the game, Tom Green came on the Jumbotron to “Unleash the Fury” (the Caps play a montage centered on motivating sports movie scenes and Tom Green’s Unleash the Fury rant from “Road Trip” to amp up the home crowd when tied or trailing.) Soon after, 84-year old Sergei Federov broke a tie with the game-winning goal and actually walked up to my seat to boot me in the scrotum. Last year, these two teams met again in the first round and the Caps ousted the Rangers in five games. Recent history is not on my side. Strike 1.

Speaking of luck, I believe I impact the series with where I watch the game. It’s not because I’m a narcissistic asshole or suffer from OCD. It can be best summed up by ESPN’s current ad campaign “It’s Not Crazy, It’s Just Sports”. In the first round, the Rangers only beat Ottawa when I watched it at my place. Against the Caps, the Rangers have only won when I watched it elsewhere in Virginia with my girlfriend. Since my girlfriend has selfishly decided to travel to Atlanta to spend time with her nieces and nephews this weekend (I’m kidding….kinda), I am going against history and luck. Strike 2.

To the layman, this series shouldn’t have been close. The Rangers were the top seed in the Eastern Conference while the Caps backdoored their way into the seventh seed. However, the layman is the layman because he doesn’t know shit about anything. Seeding and home ice means nothing in the NHL playoffs. To make it this far, you need to be playing top level hockey and both teams are streaking (sans the Rangers’ effort last night) in the right direction. Playoff hockey is just like blackjack: momentum is everything, but even momentum can be crushed by the right person. In hockey, it’s the goalie. In blackjack, it’s the Asian dealer that continually pulls nine cards to get 21.

Continuing with my gambling theme, the Rangers are playing with house money right now. They won a 3 OT game in this series which was lousy with Caps shots hitting the post. They also won a game where they turned a 2-1 deficit into a 3-2 OT victory, courtesy of a game-tying goal with 6.6 seconds left in regulation and a game-winner just into overtime (Thaaaaaaaaaaaaanks Joel Ward.) They were both inches and seconds away from losing this series. Is it fate? Is it destiny? Is it a coincidence? I don’t know, but I’ll take it.

I know I’m fortunate to still have a team in the playoffs. If Henny sees IIya Bryzgalov this summer, he might do a murder-death-kill on him. Will the Rangers advance or will they bow out? That is the question that will be answered Saturday night. I know one thing about this game. I will definitely be drunk, because I don’t want sobriety clouding my judgment. I want my emotion to be raw and unfiltered. Hopefully, there will be no strike 3.

          -Written by Marcus Boyd