You Can't Avoid Boyd - The All-Balls Edition

The All-Balls Edition

“I like you. You have balls. I like balls.”

-Terrorist in “Team America: World Police”

Over the past week, three men in the world of sports showed off their cajones. Let’s examine these men, in order of ballsiness.

Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, finally had enough of Lamar Odom’s malaise and worked out a deal for him to stop showing up for work after he and Odom had a heated exchange on Easter. Odom, who demanded a trade from the LA Lakers after he was involved in a previously rejected trade, looked to be the missing piece of the Mavericks’ title defense before the season started. Instead, they got a shell of a player who averaged career lows in most offensive categories.

Granted, Odom had a tumultuous offseason. A close cousin passed away, he was a passenger in a SUV that hit and killed a teenage cyclist, and he is still married to Jumbo Elliot, I mean Khloe Kardashian. However, Odom is a professional and should have been able to perform better. Now, he’ll stay home and get paid a lot of money to do nothing. Cuban determined Odom was a lost cause and decided to remove him from the locker room before he could infect the rest of the players with his lack of effort. This move took some balls as Odom is better than any other guy that would replace him at this point in the season as the Mavs are fighting for their playoff lives.

Ozzie Guillen, manager of the Miami Marlins, caused quite a commotion when he said in a Time magazine interview last week that he loved Fidel Castro, the former Communist leader of Cuba, and respected him for his long tenure of power. Surprising comments, especially when you consider the Marlins play in a predominantly Cuban community. Cubans like Castro as much as Jews like Adolph Hitler or Americans love Osama Bin Laden.

While Guillen apologized for his remarks, the team suspended him for five games. Guillen has a history of controversy throughout his managing career. He refused to attend the White House in 2006, implied Asian players receive better treatment in baseball than Spanish players, defended illegal immigrants, and underwent counseling after calling sportswriter Jay Mariotti a fag (If he called Mariotti a douchebag, everyone would have nodded approvingly.) Yet, Guillen still says what’s on his mind. Pretty ballsy move considering the Marlins could have cut ties with him immediately and distanced themselves from this issue. The Marlins said they never considered firing their firecracker manager, but you have to imagine the leash just got a little shorter in South Beach.

Jeff Long, athletic director at Arkansas, decided to part ways with head coach Bobby Petrino on Tuesday after his infamous motorcycle accident. The fact that Petrino was riding with his 25 year old mistress was bad, but the fact he covered it up led to his termination. On April 1^st, Petrino crashed his motorcycle after being blinded by the sun and suffered multiple injuries. Petrino claimed he was by himself to Long and to the media during a press conference, but admitted to an affair with the young lady. Long put the coach on paid leave while they investigated the matter. Last Thursday, Petrino admitted to Long that 25 year old Jessica Dorrell was a passenger on the bike, minutes before the police report went public and would disclose that information. It was discovered that Petrino had tried to prevent Dorrell’s name from making it on the police report, Petrino had given Dorrell a job with the team recently amidst shady circumstances (her relationship with her boss, she beat out 158 other applicants, and the process was a lot quicker than usual), and Petrino had given Dorrell a $20,000 gift. Long fired Petrino with cause based on a clause in the coach’s contract that allowed the AD to do so if Petrino’s conduct put the school in a negative light.

While the firing was deserved, the fact that Long fired the coach was 100% balls. Petrino had returned the football team to prominence by going 34-17 over his four year Arkansas career (which started when he fled the Atlanta Falcons after 13 games in dubious fashion), going 21-5 the last two seasons. He had built up the program and made the school a contender. In SEC country, football reigns supreme and Arkansas was among the top teams. Frankly, I’m a little shocked that Long fired Petrino. This move will set back Arkansas, whether it’s temporary or for the long haul. Quality coaches just don’t grow on trees (otherwise, Jerry Jones would have purchased a tree farm by now.) However, Long felt he couldn’t encourage this type of behavior just because Petrino made the football team better. Huuuuuge balls.

               -Written by Marcus Boyd