You Can't Avoid Boyd - The Washington Nationals Can Suck My Dick

You Can’t Avoid Boyd

The Washington Nationals Can Suck My Dick

This year, the two beltway baseball teams, the Washington Nationals and the Baltimore Orioles, were two of the biggest surprises and made the playoffs. Washington DC hadn’t hosted a playoff game since 1933 (granted, they didn’t have team for 34 of those years) while Baltimore hadn’t hosted a game since 1997. Even though both teams were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs, it was good to see both cities get swept up in the postseason. The joy was short term as corporate greed reared its ugly head.

As both teams played in the first round, they sold tickets for their next potential series, the League Championships. This is customary for all sports teams. If that team was eliminated in their current round, you would either get a full refund or your money goes towards your season ticket plan. However, the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles decided to charge a $6 non-refundable service charge on all of their playoff games, regardless if the game was played or not. The teams claim the fee helps offset the cost of printing and mailing these tickets.

The Nationals and the Orioles are not the only teams to adhere to this bullshit policy. There were five other contending teams who reserved the right of keeping these service charges as well. Most teams backed off this practice after 2002, when New York State Attorney General Eliot “I Heart the Whores” Spitzer fought the New York Yankees. The Yankees earned approximately $1.5 million in non-refundable service charges that year for games that were never played. Spitzer was able to get the team to give back 90% of those fees, allowing the team to keep the other 10%.

The reason why the Nationals specifically, and not the other six teams, can fellate me is three fold.

One, I purchased two tickets for Game 2 of the NLCS. The cheapest pair of tickets I could find came to about $160. I had no problem with that. The fact I am not getting back that $6 really chaps my ass. Who the hell are you, Washington Nationals, to deem yourself worthy of this fee? The capacity of Nationals Park for a playoff game (more standing room only tickets are sold than normal) is about 45,000. The Nationals were going to host four possible games in the series. If the stadium sold out each game and everyone bought two tickets (the maximum), the Nationals would make about $540,000 off of fee alone. That’s a pretty high amount considering the Nationals did nothing for this. There is no way printing and mailing tickets cost this much.

Second, I am still waiting for my refund. I bought my tickets two weeks ago. The Nationals were eliminated on October 12^th. Game 2 of the World Series is going to be played tonight and I don’t even have my refund from game 2 of the NLCS. According to the message boards, the Nationals are the only playoff team that hasn’t issued refunds yet. This includes the New York Yankees and the St. Louis Cardinals, teams that advanced to their respective LCS and were eliminated within the last week. One media outlet is reporting it may take up to six weeks to issue all the refunds. There is a lot more money at play with this than the $540,000 we talked about last paragraph. While they will refund this huge surplus, they’ll get be able to pocket the interest. We are talking about a six-figure interest dividend. Considering the extra money they made for hosting three playoff games and the extra fees/interest they “earned”, the Nationals can’t complain financially of their short trip to the postseason. I know they weren’t willing to shell out the extra money needed to keep the Metro open late, those cheap bastards. Living Social was willing to foot that bill, despite it never coming down to it. Such a grand gesture considering a majority of its fans takes the Metro to and from games.

Third, eight hours after their heartbreaking Game 5 loss to the Cardinals, a few National insiders got an email regarding the team’s pre-sale of World Series tickets. What an incredibly thoughtless kick to the balls for this tortured fan base. The Nationals were nine outs away from advancing, only to watch their bullpen choke away a three run lead over the final three innings. They were up two in the top of the 9^th, with their stud closer on the mound. One of baseball’s truly devastating collapses and the Nationals’ box office can’t even think to cancel the automatic emails set up to deliver to the fans the next day. I wonder what those fans felt like after seeing that email on Saturday morning. I sure they felt like they had woken up on Christmas morning, only to realize they were Jewish.

I wish the Nationals would nut up and do the right thing, but I know they won’t. If fans bail on them over this issue, they won’t care. Too many people are on the bandwagon right now that will replace them and they are blinded by foolish pride. We’ve seen this happen with the Washington Capitals before, back when there was a hockey league. The thoughts of Steven Strasburg pitching with a longer leash and Bryce Harper having a full season under his belt will excite Nats fans in 2013. However, all is not golden in DC. Their revered starting rotation shit the bed against the Cards (Supposed Cy Young Winner Gio Gonzalez struggled through ten innings in two starts). Their 2013 rotation will probably be without Edwin Jackson and they will have to depend on surprise playoff stud Ross Detwiler. In 2012, the Nationals were saved by their bullpen. Bullpens are always hit or miss, with no exact science to it. Who knows if they can pitch as well, if not better, next season. And while their lineup will have some money to spend, they might have some holes to deal with. If Adam LaRoche leaves, the team will need a first basemen or an outfielder (if Michael Morse replaces him).I wish the Nationals well going forward. I’d even wish them good luck if they gave me back my six fucking dollars some time before Halloween. If my Natitude offends any of you, you can fuck your dick.

           -Written by Marcus Boyd

You Can't Avoid Boyd - The Good, The Bad, and The Winehouse:2012 Baseball Edition

The Good, The Bad, and The Winehouse: 2012 Baseball Edition

I am back with the longest running theme in the history of HJ4HS. Let’s look at the 2012 MLB season as it wraps up tonight (possibly).

The Good: Last season brought us the drama of 162^nd game, where the Tampa Bay Rays and St. Louis Cardinals stole wild card spots from the Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves. In an attempt to keep the end of the season competitive, Commissioner Bud Selig added a second wild card spot this year to the playoff format. Both wild card teams will play in a do-or-die game, with the winner taking on the top seed. Selig wanted to emphasize the importance of winning your division instead of settling for the wild card. Selig couldn’t have imagined a scenario like this. Entering Wednesday, the only thing we know in the American League is the Detroit Tigers are the Central Division winners and we know the four other playoff teams (The Oakland A’s, the Texas Rangers, the New York Yankees, and the Baltimore Orioles). What we don’t know is the AL West and East champs, who has home field advantage, and who will be hosting the wild card game. The National League still needs to figure out the top seed. Wednesday night won’t be as exciting as last year, but it should still be entertaining.

The Bad: Selig’s idea was good, but his planning and execution was piss poor. He was able to squeeze in the second wild card just prior to the season, but had to change the venue format for the first round. The higher seed use to host the first, second, and fifth games of the series (2-2-1 format), but for this year only, Selig changed it to 2-3 format where the top seed host the last three games. This was needed in order to keep the Championship Series and the World Series on schedule and avoid nightmarish travelling scenarios. Now, there is a chance the Washington Nationals only host one playoff game if they get swept. Not a fair deal for a city who hasn’t hosted a playoff game since 1933. The format will revert back in 2013, but 2012 is a fucked up blip in the radar.

The Winehouse: The Boston Red Sox. They went 7-20 down the stretch last year, including a walk-off loss in Baltimore that cemented their place in the record book for biggest baseball collapse. They cleaned house, hiring a new General Manager (Ben Cherington) and a new manager (Bobby Valentine) with the hopes of a strong 2012. They were dead fucking wrong. The hope was Valentine, the talented but controversial manager, would be able to divert bad media attention away from the players, yet he instigated it by feuding with longtime Sox player Kevin Youkilis. From there, injuries and subpar pitching decimated this team. In August, upper managements decided to hit the reset button and dump their best offensive player, Adrian Gonzalez, in order to dump some horrendous contracts. Officially waving the white flag, the team went 7-19 in September and will finish at the bottom of AL East (They are guaranteed to finish ahead of only four teams in all of baseball, possibly six if things go their way tonight.) Valentine is rumored to be hitting the bricks once this trainwreck of a season ends.

The Good: The Atlanta Braves. They had the biggest September collapse for about an hour until the Red Sox finished their choke job. This year, they enjoyed Chipper Jones’ swan song by making the post season and erasing all the bad memories from 2011. They carefully managed their best pitching prospect, Kris Medlen, to start the year in the bullpen after coming off of Tommy John surgery and he has emerged as the ace of the team. The Braves have won the last 23 starts by Medlen and will be a dangerous team if they advance past the wild card round.

The Bad: While Kris Medlen had his workload carefully structured, Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg did not. He started the season with a 160-inning plan. While it appeared the Nats would be a contender and Strasburg would hit his number in September, there was no contingency plan. The team didn’t want to shut him down for a long period of time & mess with his preparation and they were pretty firm on his innings. Sure enough, Strasburg made his last start on September 7^th and has been riding the pine ever since. Many people are speculating the Nats were ahead of schedule in terms of their development. They figured 2013 would be their year, not 2012. Well, GM Mike Rizzo has balls shutting down his top pitcher. If they don’t win the World Series, I am sure the off-season will be spent questioning Rizzo’s decision.

The Good: Miguel Cabrera. He is one game away from winning the Triple Crown (leading your league in batting average, home runs, and runs batted in.) As of Wednesday, he was leading all three categories. There hasn’t been a Triple Crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski in 1967. It is quite the honor. Having said that, I still think Mike Trout is the MVP of the league. The numbers he put up as a 21-year-old are mindboggling. I realize Cabrera is going to the postseason and Trout is not argument can be made, but Trout played for a contender and his defense was redonkulous. Also, this is the lowest batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage in three years. If this was like the NFL, I would give Cabrera the offensive player of the year award to reward his season.

The Winehouse: The Pittsburgh Pirates. They were the darlings of the summer, contending in August. And then their dream turned into a nightmare. Rather than get excited about a playoff spot in September, the battle cry became “.500 or better”. Instead, the Pirates played atrocious baseball down the stretch and wound up with their 20^th consecutive losing season. There’s always next year I guess.

The Good: R.A. Dickey and Adam Greenberg. Dickey came out of nowhere to be one of the best pitchers in baseball. His knuckleball allowed him to win 20 games (2^nd best in the NL), strike out 230 batters (best in the NL), and have a 2.73 ERA (2^nd best in the NL). He is a contender for the Cy Young award and just revealed he pitched most of the season with a torn abdominal muscle. As for Greenberg, he was hit in the head on the first pitch he ever saw in the majors in 2005. He suffered a concussion due to the beaning and sat out two years with related health issues. Since then, he’s been in and out of organized baseball, never making it to the big leagues. Film maker Matt Liston heard Greenberg’s story and started an online campaign called “One At-Bat”, trying to him another at-bat in the major leagues (Getting hit by a pitch doesn’t count as an official at-bat). The story received national attention and the Miami Marlins were happy to oblige. On Tuesday, Greenberg suited up with the team on a one-day contract (MLB approved this, per the situation) and got to pinch hit against R.A. Dickey. He struck out on three pitches, but he is now among the 17,000 people to get an at-bat in MLB history.

The Winehouse: The U.S. performance on Sunday in the Ryder Cup. God awful.

The Good: Baseball in the Beltway. The Nats and the Orioles are both going to play October baseball. The Nats were a preseason dark horse, but the O’s came out of left field (horrible pun intended). It is great news for a Baltimore fan base whose been waiting for a playoff team since 1997. Also, give it up to Teddy Roosevelt, who won his first President’s Race on Wednesday, after 534 consecutive losses.

The Bad: The potentially small window of opportunity for the Orioles. They were incredibly lucky this year (14 straight win in extra innings and a .763 winning percentage in one-run games, which hasn’t happened since 1890). They are bound for regression and play an incredibly competitive division. I don’t think the O’s fall off altogether, but a lot of things happened for them this year to get to where they are. We’ll see if luck stays in Charm City for another year.

The Winehouse: When the Washington Capitals made the playoffs after a long stretch of sucking, the fans showed their ignorance of the sport and became cocky assholes. I’ve seen it happen already this year with the Nats and think it will only get worse the further they advance. Bryce Harper is good but he isn’t a god. The starting pitching is good, but loses a huge advantage with Strasburg being an overpriced cheerleader. The bullpen is looking a little sloppy down the stretch and some of the bats have cooled off with the weather. I’m not trying to rain on Washington’s parade, but I am trying to preemptively put an end to Natitude douchebaggery.

            -Written by Marcus Boyd

 

From Josh with Love - One of Those Days

From Josh with Love

We live in a world of “processing”. On any given day, I process thousands of pieces of information, respond to it (both consciously and subconsciously) and move on to the next moment of stimulation. I would estimate that 95% of these instances pass without one extra second of thought, a fleeting moment in the 18 hours or so that I am awake each day. I watch the news in the morning, the radio is on in the car, I read the newspaper, I have a smart phone and yet somehow most of this information fails to make any lasting impact on my day, let alone my life. However, there are times, when for some reason I actually think about what I just heard or saw and what it means. Sometimes, it changes my day. I hold out hope that one of these moments changes my life.

Today was one of those days. I read an article this morning regarding Army suicide rates ( www.npr.org/2012/09/27/161853675/army-seeks-to-curb-rising-tide-of-suicides). Now, any other day I’d say “well yeah, these people are at war, tormented, kill people and try to return home and live a normal life. No wonder they kill themselves at a faster rate than ‘normal’ people”. Not today.

Suicide is a curious thing. If you’ve ever dealt with it you know what I’m talking about. I believe it’s that way because it can’t be understood, even if you’ve ever thought about it yourself. It’s hard to imagine that there’s a point when a rationale being can decide that death is a better option than life. Think about that person, making that decision; that a viable solution to a problem would be to simply no longer live. I’ve dealt with suicide before. I didn’t understand why my friend couldn’t come and play when I was 9 because he hung himself in a closet. I saw my Dad, hospitalized in a burn unit at the time; discover his best friend had shot himself in the face over a messy divorce. These things stick with you. So, what’s my point?

My point is that while news outlets, facebook, happy hour discussions and water cooler banter is focused on NFL referees, who got kicked off dancing with the stars, whether Obama is a Muslim, bacon shortages and any other frivolous topic; there are young men and women sacrificing their lives to allow us to live our life. We know that, it’s not a secret. When I read this article, it made me realize they are sacrificing so much more; their sense of self. They are protecting our rights to live the life we want, with the freedoms we have, so we can play words with friends while taking a shit and some return home to that very same life and decide that they would rather be dead. That, I can’t understand. We owe so much more than we can imagine to our troops. I try to appreciate our servicemen and women but the phone calls to my veteran friends (including the owner of this blog) once a year isn’t enough. So stop today and think about what these men and women are doing for you and the sacrifice they make. Think about the ones that will get that phone call from a friend on Veterans day and then 6 months later be remembered on Memorial Day. I did that today and I think maybe this day means a little more than the others.

              -Written by Josh