You Can't Avoid Boyd - A Cripple, a Fire Crotch, a Tuna and Jesus Walk Into a Bar ...

A Cripple, a Fire Crotch, a Tuna and Jesus Walk Into a Bar…

Rather than dedicate an entire month of posts on some of the hotter stories in the NFL, I am going to touch on all of them today.

For two weeks, Peyton Manning travelled throughout the U.S., looking for his newest team. With the media hounding him with reporters and helicopters, Manning was able to meet and work out with four different teams before settling with the Denver Broncos. The man is entitled to his choice, as he was looking for to play for a contender. It is shocking he didn’t choose San Francisco. They were a solid QB and few receivers away from being a legit contender. Despite Denver making the playoffs last year, they also had more holes as a team. They are hoping Peyton can fix those holes. That is a lot to ask a 36-year-old who sat out a year with major neck surgery. John Elway, Broncos VP of football operations/QB great, is making a big gamble, but one that can pay off big time if Manning can return to form.

Roger Goodell is in his sixth year as NFL commissioner. While the man has been praised by most for his service thus far, there is one issue that seems to bother a lot of people, including myself. Goodell seems to have no problem making up impromptu punishments. In 2010 while he was crusading on behalf of players’ safety (despite his insistence of an 18-game schedule), Goodell fined three players in one week for controversial hits. This was done despite these players violating no league rules and no precedent. This year, Goddell stripped the Dallas Cowboys and Washington Redskins of some cap space due to their abuse of the 2010 salary cap. In 2010, the NFL did not have a salary cap due to the impending lockout. Teams were warned not abuse this perk, according to league sources. The Cowboys and Redskins both deny this. As much as I hate both teams, they both have a legitimate gripe as their salary cap was docked the day before free agency. It would be one thing to punish both teams early, so they can appeal and plan accordingly, not during it. Both teams are in the middle of appealing, but free agency is pretty much over, restricting both teams of signing free agents.

As crazy as the ginger commish has been with suspending and fining people, he got it right with Bountygate. If the punishment was just for the bounty system the Saints implemented for three years, Goddell was out of his mind. However, the penalties were fit as head coach Sean Payton, assistant Gregg Williams, assistant Joe Vitt, and general manger Mickey Loomis were caught covering up the scandal. After they all denied it initially, it was discovered that all were aware of it and had been caught in a lie. Now that the Saints have no one to lead their team, word on the street is Payton is going to ask his mentor, Bill Parcells, to step in for him. At first, I thought this was insane. Then I remembered Bill Parcells does not think like a rational man. This guy has come out of retirement three times already to return to coaching. Who says a fourth would be out of the question? Considering the Saints are already a contender, this could be Parcells’ final hurrah. He can get paid pretty well for a year, then ride off into the sunset or pull a power move and force Payton out of a job.

With Peyton taking over in Denver, that allowed John Elway to do something he’s wanted to do for two years: tell Tim Tebow to hit the bricks. He traded the QB to the New York Jets. It seems NYC is ready for Tebowmania, but is the Jets’ locker room? Rex Ryan stated Mark Sanchez is the starter and Tebow will be the Wildcat option, but that’s a crock of shit. New York Jets fans have probably soured on Sanchez after his third straight inconsistent season. Throw in the fact that the team fell apart down the stretch last year and their locker room resembled a Greek tragedy and this situation seems volatile. Wait until the first time Sanchez goes six and out, and Jet fans will be screaming for Tebow, despite the fact he has the same throwing motion as Corky from “Life Goes On”. I know the Jets wanted to get a backup to motivate Sanchez, but they could have found someone better than the rock star that is Tim Tebow. As a Giants fan, this inevitable shit storm is like an early Christmas present for me.

                -Written by Marcus Boyd

You Can't Avoid Boyd - Street Fighting Man! G-Sevvvvvvvvon!

Street Fighting Man!!! G-Sevvvvvvvvvvvon!!!

On Monday night, something happened that captivated both Henny and I. At the start of the Rangers-Devils game, six guys starting fighting as soon as the puck dropped. You knew it was coming as the Devils started a line of enforcers (The Devils as the road team had to put their lineup out first) instead of their top line. The Rangers countered by having a defenseman known for fighting take the faceoff with two other tough guys as his wingers. It was riveting television as three pairs of guys tried to beat the crap out of one another. You didn’t know which fight to watch until one duo were both bleeding. After the skirmishes ended, both coaches were cursing at one another, forty penalty minutes were doled out in the first three seconds of the game, and the crowd was amped up, including myself. Unfortunately, the media did not see it that way and portrayed it as another black eye for the sport.

For the last few years, many sports personalities have stated how hockey needs to abolish fighting. They claim it is barbaric and has no place in the game. Three enforcers (Derek Boogaard, Rick Rypien, and Wade Belak) committed suicide over the summer. Many contributed their suicides due to the direct/indirect impact of fighting (the top three themes were brain injuries from fighting, substance abuse to erase the emotional and physical pain, and clinical depression.) Most critics will argue that hockey is the only sport to allow fighting without an automatic ejection. I am not one of those critics and believe fighting does serve a role in hockey.

Perhaps it’s the culture of the game, but fighting has always been a part of the NHL. Whether it’s to defend a cheap shot on a star player or to whip the crowd/team into a frenzy, people have thrown down the gloves and made it rain with punches. There has been a lot of bad blood between the Rangers and Devils throughout the years. This year has been no exception as we have seen many fights and questionable hits. They had fought each other 16 times in five games before Monday’s affair. Monday wasn’t the culmination of their hatred of one another, just another chapter in a long saga.

The NHL has addressed fighting over the years, creating rules to prevent fighting during time stoppages, prevent fighting in the end of blowouts, and prevent a third guy from entering a fight. They are looking into the long-term health issues plaguing former enforcers. Despite my joy in Monday’s fight, many NHL officials and commentators agree there is no place in the sport for the premeditated fight. They mentioned that was a little excessive. However, they have yet to stop fighting from taking place altogether.

There are quite a few people who would not have played professional hockey if fighting was not allowed. Tie Domi played 16 years in the league. His career totals include 104 goals and over 3500 penalty minutes. Teams didn’t acquire him hoping for a sudden burst of offense. They signed him so he could beat up nerds. The NHL players’ union realizes this, and will strive to keep fighting in the league. Plus, the enforcers are doing this voluntarily. No one is putting a gun to their heads and making them fight.

Lastly, the fans love it. The casual fan wants to see awesome goals, big hits, and fights. Just like the casual fan watches NASCAR for the accidents. Hockey is a blue collar sport, watched by blue collar fans. The NHL realizes how loyal their fans are. After the lockout, the fans felt disrespected and took it out on their teams. The league had to win the fans back with lowered ticket prices and rules to make the game more exciting. Why would the sport take away one of the main attraction for fans, who pay top dollar for seats and merchandise?

As much as I love Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon on “Pardon the Interruption”, they need to shut their mouths on this issue. Fighting in hockey is just as natural as curveballs in baseball or players having kids out of wedlock in basketball. It’s not the main part of the game, but it serves it purpose. No one fights against their will. They fight to stick up for their teammates, just like a pitcher will retaliate with a beanball when one of his hitters gets plunked. For my money, the best thing in sports is the rare occurrence when two goalies duke it out. I’d take a goalie fight over a hand job any day of the week, twice on Sundays.

             -Written by Marcus Boyd

Options Tonight? . . . Dwarf Tossing!

            Wow, I hope this catches on soon. "What are you talking about Pat?" you ask? Well, let me ask you something first. How would you like to go to a bar, have a few drinks, then pay a couple bucks to see how far you can throw a midget? Yes, toss a midget, as in pick him up and throw him. Or her I guess, I just assume it would be a male willing to strap on a helmet and let drunks throw him across the room. Doesn't that sound like fun? Who would try to stifle such a great idea?

            Midgets. Or dwarfs I suppose since the name of this sport is called dwarf tossing. Anyway, there is a little couple that stars on a TLC reality show called, you guessed it, "the little couple." They appeared on Anderson Cooper's show talking about how unsafe it is and how demeaning it is to little people. Blah blah blah. Listen, the little person that AGREES to do this knows what he's getting himself into. He puts on a helmet and some padding. And how far do you think these drunks are really tossing him? Couple feet maybe. Not far enough to get hurt. Where does this couple get off saying how wrong it is? That's bullshit!

           You know what's wrong? How hypocritical these little bastards are. Here are a couple midgets who found a way to make some extra cash by exploiting the fact that they are small enough to get picked up and thrown. And they cry about how wrong it is. Well how the fuck did they end up with a reality show? Because they are interesting entrepreneurs? Because they have great personalities? NO, it's because they are fucking midgets. I saw their interview, they're boring little pricks. They are a couple, they are midgets, and they pitched this bullshit reality show to make money. So where do they get off crying foul about some of their own kind trying to exploit themselves for money. It's exactly what they're doing. I'm sick of these people that think they are better than everyone else. They are all low and mighty in their miniature ivory tower. Fuck that. You're just like every other person that uses their abnormalities to make money. Just because you get to sit on TV doesn't make you any better. Get over yourself. It shouldn't be too hard, you're a fucking midget.

           Anyway, the State Representative in Florida is trying to repeal the law that made this illegal. Stating it's a way to boost the economy. Every little bit counts. (pun intended) I applaud this man for standing up for what he believes in and not being afraid to make the unpopular decision. Hey, if a little guy wants to make some money at a bar by getting thrown around, who are we to stop him? Shit, we should be lining up to hurl this guy for distance. So listen here midgets. Don't think you are better than anyone else because you pick a more dignified way to make money on your shortcomings. BOOM roasted!

           If you didn't see this coming, you don't read my blog enough. I'm on my way to the city to get a little Hand-job for half a Ham Sandwich from midget that knows her place.
          

You Can't Avoid Boyd - March Motherfuckin' Madness

March Motherfuckin’ Madness

After the end of the Super Bowl, a typical non-biased sports fan goes through the same cycle of indigestion, drunkenness, and sadness. The indigestion and drunkenness are a result in overindulgence of bar foods and alcohol. The sadness comes from the lull in the upcoming sports viewing cycle. Sure, there are NBA games, but no one gives a shit about basketball until the playoffs or random Asians dominating from nowhere. Only six people care about the NHL, which is double the viewers of NASCAR. Golf has been boring since Tiger Woods stopped putting his dick into anything with a heartbeat. That’s why we should be glad that March Madness comes around and saves the day.

Most people associate March Madness with the NCAA tournament. It actually starts with the end of the regular season and conference tournaments, which determines top seeds and entry into the tournament. Sure, no one got excited when Louisville and Cincinnati set back offense several decades in their Big East final matchup on Saturday, but when St. Bonaventure won their conference on Sunday and stole an at-large bid away from a bubble team, that affected so many fan bases. Completing the pre-game of the tourney was the Sunday selection show, where the committee picks the 68 teams that are going dancing. All 31 conference champions make it, while the rest of the field is made up of at-large teams. Some teams were locks for the tourney (Kansas, for example) while some teams squeaked in (Iona). The bubble burst for several schools, who watched with the show with the rest of America (Drexel, Seton Hall).

The field use to be 64 teams, but in 2001, the NCAA made it 65. The worst two conference winners played on Tuesday for the right to get dumped on by the top seed in the country. No one liked this concept. The NCAA corrected this abortion in 2011 by adding three more teams, and having the four worst conference champs and the four worst at-large teams play to get the field to 64 by Thursday. This can be important as VCU; a team many didn’t feel deserved to be in the tournament in the first place, won their 2011 play-in game and advanced all the way to the Final Four.

Once the field is set, that’s when all of America gets the fever. Whether it’s sports-obsessed fan or the person who hates sports, March Madness takes over everyone. People mysteriously are too sick to work on Thursday and Friday, yet recover in time to head to the bar and watch the tourney for ten hours. Production for the people who actually go to work goes down as people try to stream games online or refresh ESPN constantly. People claim to be experts in college basketball, yet rip up their brackets after they lose a Final Four team before the weekend is out. People who have no idea about sports do surprisingly well in their pools. In college, my tournament pool was once won by a girl who picked teams because their names sounded funny or knew people who attended that school.

What people love about the tournaments are the upsets. We live in a society where we cheer for the underdog. We loved it when Roy Hobbs smashed a home run into the lights. We loved it when Rudy made it onto the field and sacked the quarterback. You don’t see upsets too much in real sports, except for the tournament. Anything can happen when it comes down to one game. The top teams should prevail, but every year in the opening weekend, we see a double digit seed advance to the Sweet 16 every year. Who can forget such Cinderella teams like George Mason or Butler advance all the way to the Final Four? We loved seeing a Northern Iowa take out the tourney favorite Kansas in the 2010 2nd round, unless you picked Kansas in your bracket.

Can this be the year of the upset? There have been three instances in the last 25 years where no #1 seeds advanced to the Final Four, including last year. Or perhaps this is the year of the chalk (where the favorites prevail). In 2008, the Final Four was all #1 seeds. Who knows what 2012 will bring. We do know a few things though. We know that people everywhere will be watching, ready to cheer on their favorite teams and/or their brackets picks. We know the streets will be filled with ripped brackets. We know bar owners and bookies will be loving life and their increased business. We know managers and teachers will be dealing with a group of less-interested people. We know people will complain that Gus Johnson isn’t calling games. We know people will wonder where the hell the TruTV channel is on their cable box. And we know everyone will be a sports fan for just a brief time. Thank you, March Motherfuckin’ Madness.

            -Written by Marcus Boyd

Hey Kids . . . NO Soup For You!

            All of my dreams have finally come true. The hard work, the preparation, the long hours and sleepless nights. I can now have what I've always wanted. Dinner and a movie and maybe even a plane ride, WITHOUT kids! What? Yes, a kid free movie followed by a relaxing dinner void of screaming brats and the parents that can't control them. Finally.

           Okay, so maybe I didn't have anything to do with it but sit there and try to tell me it's not awesome. There are actually places out there that have banned kids from their establishments. This makes enjoying your night so much easier. You know what I'm talking about.

           You have a romantic night planned with the lady friend. It starts with a nice dinner, maybe a Groupon meal for two. The hostess seats you in a booth and reads over the specials before asking what you'd like to drink. You order a beer in the biggest glass they offer and the lady gets a martini to set the mood. The two of you decide to split the spinach dip for an appetizer as you gaze over the steak selection. The porterhouse seems like the best choice for tonight. I wonder what the lady will get? The top sirloin, cooked medium, good choice. I knew there was a reason we were out together. Then it happens.

           WAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAA! "Calm down hunny, you can't get the ice cream yet." "But mommy, I'm a brat that can't behave myself in public! I want everything NOW!!"

           Are you kidding me? Did they really have to bring their kids to the restaurant? We were having such a great evening until that little bastard started crying. Now we have to listen to this kid's mouth while his parents, who apparently read a "this is NOT how to parent" book, struggle to gain control. What a great way to enjoy my porterhouse. If only a restaurant would open up where you wouldn't have to worry about that. Oh thank heaven for . . . well it's not called 7-11 but you get the point.

           I don't have anything against kids in general. I just don't appreciate when I'm trying to enjoy my night and their screaming heads ruin it. There are some movie theaters that have caught on to the trend and offer kid-free movies. Won't it be great not to have to worry about missing a good part because some couple thought it was a good idea to bring their kids, who obviously can't behave, to a dark room where silence is golden? I hope the movement really picks up. Kid-free zones everywhere would make me a happy consumer.

          Up until now the only place I knew there wouldn't be kids to ruin my night was by the dumpsters behind the Git & Go where I get Hand-jobs for Ham Sandwiches every other week. Here's to hoping my options open up.

You Can't Avoid Boyd - It's Not Personal, It's Just Business

It’s Not Personal, It’s Just Business

On Wednesday, the Indianapolis Colts ended months of speculation by cutting Peyton Manning. It was highly anticipated, but it is still shocking. Peyton has been the face of the Colts franchise since 1998, his rookie season. Manning had turned a laughingstock into a dominant franchise, earning one championship along the way. While it’s sad it came to this, it just confirms that sports is just a business.

Last year, Colts owner Jim Irsay thought he locked up Manning for the rest of his playing days. Peyton signed a five year, $90 million deal that should have guaranteed his career ended in Indy. Unfortunately, there was a setback in Manning’s off-season neck surgery, which required more surgery. Peyton never stepped foot onto a field in 2011. The Colts did not do well without #18, finishing as the worst team in the NFL. People began to wonder if Peyton Manning, the greatest quarterback in Colts history, would be cut. He was due a $28 million roster bonus if he remained on the team on March 11^th. Irsay had cleaned house after last year’s dismal season, firing the general manager and all the coaches. They also had the top pick in the draft, where two QB prospects, Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III, await. He also had to wonder if Peyton was physically ready to resume his career. Despite assurances from doctors that Peyton was ready, Irsay had to decide if the risk was worth it. Yesterday, Irsay decided it was too risky and cut the man who made the Colts a winner.

It’s a shame that Manning will have to wear another uniform to continue his career, but it isn’t unprecedented. Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath, Joe Montana are three examples of Hall of Fame quarterbacks who did not finish their careers for the team that drafted them. Ask any diehard Dallas Cowboys fan about Emmett Smith’s tenure as an Arizona Cardinal and I am sure you will hear obscenities. It’s just the nature of the game.

A football team is a business, simply put. It is up to an owner to run all aspects as efficiently as possible. Managing a salary cap is one of those aspects. I’m not gonna nerd it up with facts and figures, but you only have so much to spend on 53 players. Some players are worth more than others. Owners have to figure out a way to field the most competitive team and still be within the cap. If there was no cap, Peyton Manning would still be a Colt. However, $28 million is a lot to guarantee someone who a) might not be the same player prior to the surgeries, b) might be rusty after a year long layoff, and c) will be 36 years old before training camp.

By all indications, Peyton Manning’s career did not end with the Colts cutting him. He is free to sign with another team and will probably take his time to research the best fit. Finding NFL suitors won’t be an issue as few teams do not have a need for a QB of this caliber (Giants, Eagles, Packers, Lions, Bears, Saints, Falcons, Panthers, Patriots, Ravens, Steelers, Bengals, and Chargers should not be in the market. Everyone else should have some interest.) At this point in his career, Peyton doesn’t need the money. He just wants that second ring. He can’t like the fact that Eli has one more than he does.

It is a sad day for Colts fans. For the last 14 years, they knew Peyton Manning as their quarterback. Before last season, he never missed a start. The 2011 season was supposed to be an aberration, not the beginning of the end. Now, a new man will take over as the face of the franchise. If I was a Colts fan, I’d definitely be down in the dumps. I’m just wouldn’t be surprised. At all. Sports is all about making money. If someone gets in the way of making money, they are expendable. And Peyton became expendable. There is no emotion when it comes to business. It’s black and white with no gray areas. While I understand it, I wish I didn’t. It was better when I was younger and more optimistic. Instead, I know what the bottom line is. Money talks, and Peyton walks.

                  -Written by Marcus Boyd

Birth Control? . . . You Slut!

           There are a number of controversies clogging up the news feeds the past few days. One has to do with the NFL players being paid extra to knock other players out of the game. The one I'd like to talk about has to do with Rush Limbaugh and some comments he made on his radio show. Since these comments were made, at least 24 sponsors have pulled out (pun intended) of the Rush Limbaugh business. Two of the 600 stations that broadcast his show also got out of dodge. Let me give you some background into the situation in case you haven't been listening.

           The whole story revolves around the Health Care problem facing most Americans. One of the big arguments surrounding the health care problem has to do with companies paying for birth control. It becomes an issue with religious companies that don't believe in contraception. Therefore, their health benefits don't include birth control coverage for their employees. So, women need to pay for it themselves and it's very expensive depending on what kind you use. This seems a bit unfair to a lot of the women out there and it has become a huge political concern. Last week a law student from Georgetown University testified at a congressional hearing on the subject. She argued her point that in the past three years as a law student, birth control would have cost $3,000. Beside the obvious use for birth control (condom-less sex), there are other medical reasons for women to be on the "pill." I'm not a doctor so I won't get into all the medical benefits because, quite frankly, I don't know. That was part of the law students argument. Her name is Sandra Fluke. The main point of her testimony was that it's not a religious thing at all, or an attack on the values of religious companies. It has to do with the fact that sometimes women need this medication and it should be covered under their health benefits.

           Well, anyone that has ever listened to Rush Limbaugh before knows that he is a very opinionated and on some occasions very ignorant man.

"What does it say about the college co-ed Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex?" What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex, she can't afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex."

           That is the quote from his radio show about Sandra Fluke's testimony. Ignorant right? It's pretty obvious that he doesn't know how birth control works. It seems he thinks the more sex you have the more birth control you need. That is the case for us guys but women can take just one pill a day and it covers them whether they have sex or not. Even if they have sex 7 times that day, which would be awesome. The "pill" has it covered.

            Since we can safely say Rush doesn't know much about sex and contraceptives, why do we really care what he has to say?  Yea, I get that he has a huge radio broadcast and millions of people listen to what he has to say. But why do we get bent out of shape when he says something stupid? Who cares? It's his show and he can say whatever he wants. It's obvious he doesn't know what he's talking about in regards to this topic. So why can't we chalk this up to him being a moron and move on? This whole episode has been all over the news. CNN, MSNBC, Comedy Central. Now, I understand why Comedy Central picked up on this. Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert did a great job poking fun at this whole thing. That's as far as it should have gone. All the other coverage is unnecessary.

             And to be honest with you, I think the companies pulling their advertisements off his show are making a mistake. Radio advertisement and advertising in general is a business. It's about the amount of consumers that will hear your ad. If you know anything about anything, you know that his ratings are going to go up after this. Yes, up. It's the same reason Howard Stern had such great ratings. People want to hear what he has to say now, even if they hate him. So having an ad running during his show would be more beneficial now then they would before he stuck his foot in his mouth. Do you think consumers won't buy your product because your ad was playing during his show? Or that you have an advertisement on his program? I don't. Why would that have anything to do with the products I buy?

             It all comes back to how sensitive everyone is in this country. Take a breather. I'm not defending his comments, they were stupid and unintelligent. What I'm saying is, who cares? He is trying to fill hours of a talk radio show and has to say whatever is on his mind. If he calls someone a slut and a prostitute, big deal. Is she a slut or a prostitute? No, she's a law student at Georgetown University. She shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure there are people out there that have called her far worse. The only difference is that Rush has a microphone and an audience. It shouldn't affect any of the advertising done on his show, or get this much news coverage. He said it and it's over. Stop being such a slutty bitch about it.

            I'll say it again, the majority of Americans are huge pussies. Don't take things so personally. Don't take things so serious. Just concentrate on what you need to get done in your life and stop worrying about what other people have to say about it. Especially when they are big ignorant fucks who have to fill up air time and say whatever they want. Rush has since apologized twice. Mostly because he had to, to try and save some of the advertising money the show is losing now. Sandra has since been on the View and probably some other news/talk show. So she should probably thank him for this. Otherwise nobody, except the stuffy suits that were at the hearing, would know who she is or what she was talking about.

            Speaking of slutty prostitutes. I'm on my way to Chinatown to find one that takes Ham Sandwiches for a Hand-job and I have a good feeling I'll be successful. Based on past experience of course.

You Can't Avoid Boyd - Nobody Knows Anything

Nobody Knows Anything

On my way into work Wednesday, “Mike & Mike in the Morning” talked about a blog post from the Minnesota Star Tribune where the writer questions if the Vikings beating the Washington Redskins on Christmas Eve was the costliest win in its team history (http://www.startribune.com/sports/vikings/blogs/140734193.html). The theory being a loss in that game would give them the highly coveted 2^nd overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, a pick that many expect to be Robert Griffin III, the QB from Baylor. I am glad I didn’t hear their responses so I can offer my unbiased perspective on it (especially since Herm Edwards (www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMk5sMHj58I) was a guest host).

For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about (aka, my girlfriend), the top two picks in the 2012 NFL Draft should be Stanford QB Andrew Luck and RGIII (what the cool kids call Robert Griffin III). Luck is described as can’t miss while RGIII has been the hottest prospect of the year. RGIII started out as a blip on the NFL radar. He began the college season on fire and saved his best performances for the end of the year, on his way to the Heisman Trophy. With a great arm, his media savviness, and his well documented speed (he tried out for the U.S. Olympic team in the 400m hurdles), he is now viewed as a can’t miss player and a man who could be taken ahead of Luck.

The St. Louis Rams hold the 2^nd pick this year. While they don’t need a QB, they know other teams do and are drooling over RGIII. Since it is a seller’s market, many are predicting a huge windfall if the Rams trade the pick (multiple high round draft picks the next two years and possibly players.) The Minnesota writer was saying if the Vikings, who drafted their QB of the future in 2011, lose that game to the Redskins, they’d have the opportunity to turn that 2^nd pick into the chance to rebuild a struggling franchise.

In theory, that works. The Vikings finished 3-13 last season and were officially eliminated from playoff contention before Thanksgiving. However, communism worked as well in theory. To suggest the Vikings should have tanked a game is beyond ludicrous. Not many people have a chance to play in the NFL. There is no way any of the 53 players who played against the Redskins that day would have let up for the good of the franchise moving forward. First off, if you are labeled a quitter, your playing career is over. A rapist or a murderer can play in the NFL. A quitter cannot. Second, your fans expect the best. How could you expect fans to spend money on the team if they know you can tank? Fans hate losing, but can put up with it (to a degree) if the effort is there.

Right now, Griffin III is all that and a bag of chips. Who knows what will happen before the April draft. In order for the proposed trade bounty to happen, RGIII needs to stay in the spotlight positively and teams need to be in competition for that spot. If RGIII has a bad pro day, the trade package can disappear. If teams are able to dig up unflattering info on him, the hype could be gone. If teams decide not to pursue RGIII (go after a free agent QB, draft another QB later on, wait until next year to address the position, etc.), trade leverage goes out the window. There needs to be at least two teams fighting for the 2^nd pick to create the king’s ransom. If not, the seller’s market flips into a buyer’s market.

Last, draft picks are the ultimate lottery ticket. Mel Kiper Jr. may proclaim himself a draft expert, but that’s bullshit. Despite all the research done by teams or specialists, there is no guarantee on how a player can turn out. In 1998, some teams preferred Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning. In 1999, the Cleveland Browns made Tim Couch their top pick. In 2000, six teams drafted QBs not named Tom Brady. In hindsight, those teams would be fucking idiots. High or multiple draft picks doesn’t mean automatic success down the road. While draft preparation goes a long way, luck (the noun, not the player) is definitely required.

I understand what the writer was trying to convey. He was dreaming of the 2004 trade, which turned a grumpy Eli Manning into three Pro Bowlers for the San Diego Super Chargers, for his beloved Vikings. However, it is absolutely absurd to look down at a team for winning a game. You don’t want to overlook karma. Just like you don’t want to piss off a blackjack dealer, you don’t want to piss off the karma gods. They do not reward the unjust. I am sure if they would have tanked the game, their highly anticipated trade haul would have been made up of busts, the injured, and/or homosexuals. Things happen for a reason. One faithful night last March, Henny decided to enjoy the unseasonable warmth to enjoy his ham sandwich dinner in an alley way. He wasn’t looking for a handy, but it came to him anyway and he was now aware of the barter system. Chalk that up to karma sonnnnnnnnnnnn.

            -Written by Marcus Boyd