Airplanes . . . what happened?

     When was the last time you were on an airplane? I recently took a flight to Dallas, Texas. Most of the problems I have with airplanes today have to do with the flight attendants. I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that since we started calling them flight attendants they’ve been getting less attractive. I also think they increased the minimum age from 18 to 57. I mean seriously? They are getting older and older and it’s almost getting out of hand.

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     On a side note, the flight attendant just asked if there was a physician on board. Remember in the movie Airplane when they asked if there was a doctor on board? Oh yea, I keep looking back waiting to see this lady spit whole eggs out of her mouth. I think the people sitting across from me are already speaking jive. Surely she can’t be serious?

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     So like I was saying, these flight attendants are also getting lazier. I recall back in the day when the head stewardess would go over the safety info with the help of her crew in a nice little routine. They would fasten the seat belt and show us the exits. Nobody paid any attention but they still went through the motions. It was important that the effort was given. I got on the plane today, we started to taxi from the terminal toward the runway, “and here comes the safety brief” I thought to myself. “Please direct your attention to the monitors for all the safety information of this 737.” What? So what are the flight attendants doing? Nothing! They are just standing in the back chatting it up like the old bitties they’ve become. The job description for flight attendants is probably three sentences. Where is the effort? What are we paying for? Get your little seat belt and oxygen mask out, put a damn smile on and walk me through the safety material on the card in the seat in front of me! I just think that all the money we pay for flights these days should warrant a little more hard work. It was very comforting not paying attention while they went over all the info we’d need if we made a soft crash landing in the water. Now it’s become so cold and impersonal. So just to sum up what I’ve found out during my recent flights; the ‘flight attendants’ are getting older and less attractive, their workload has been tailored towards old age and laziness, and a small bottle of whiskey costs $7.  

     Maybe it was because the interview I was in Dallas for didn’t go that well. Maybe it was because I was wedged in the middle seat uncomfortably for 3 hours. Maybe it was the 2 hours I spent at the airport bar drinking Jameson and Beer. Who knows? These are just a couple things I noticed on my trip from DC to Dallas and back. One of the main things I learned while staying in Dallas was that they operate on the Hand-jobs for Ham Club Sandwich exchange. I guess everything really is bigger in Texas.